My personal rollercoaster

Hi everyone and welcome back to my blog and today’s blog is going to be my personal things that I’ve been wanted to give out for a very long time and today is the day that I tell you everything about my personal rollercoaster and how my dad made my life a little worse for me to handle in the first place so grab a snack ? or a drink ?and get comfortable ?,because this blog post will be interesting for you to have a read ?.

(DISCLAIMER: This is only on my perspective and how it happened along with my own personal issues and my experiences based on what happened during my time claiming benefits and what my dad said to me. He does have a good heart but sometimes his mouth lets him down as well as being blindsided that my opinion doesn’t mean anything to him but he considers his own opinion to be better than mine which by the way it’s not true and it is due to the fact that he is too stubborn to admit that he is wrong in some occasions)

Going back to the previous blog posts that I mentioned from both other work experiences and other work experiences continued blog posts, within the time that I was on jobseekers allowance (JSA) I went through a really rough patch there which was not mentioned on this blog posts and I literally spent hours, weeks, months and even years on applying for jobs. Along with looking for them at the same time along with the fact that I’ve mentioned from my previous blog post that I had to write down the job titles that I’ve applied for and majority of those companies don’t even have the courtesy to get back to me which disheartens me and it angers up the people who work there. All because of the fact that I can trust the companies to get back to me and hoping that they would get back to me, but they didn’t bother to do so ? and some of them do reply back saying that I didn’t get the job.

Also during my time being on benefits and all that time, I felt extremely depressed and I felt like well this may sound a bit harsh to you, but for me it that like I was trapped and being held within their system until I got a job. For a very long time I ended up being emotionally drained and exhausted by doing what the job centre had told me to do. After finally coming out of benefits by securing a job working with a fabulous company and going on a traineeship that made me feel left out and unappreciated. Along with my mum my brother and be involved in a car accident as well as my brother being diagnosed with brain tumours (check out the “My traineeship from hell ?” blog post and “My brothers diagnosis ?” blog post too)

A few years later on our way back from kickboxing training, my dad decided to tell me that I need to go back to claiming benefits and I already informed him that it is not a nice place to go back and start claiming benefits even though I’ve been though that system for 3 to 4 years and even had my work experience at the job centre, but my own father refused to listen to me about the bad side of what I’ve been through and he still kept talking to me and still refuses to listen to me. Despite the fact on what I’ve been through from them as well as having the knowledge on how the system works.

Even though I told him that I was not going to claim benefits he still managed to find a way by telling my mum that I need to go back to claiming benefits and this is when I started to breathe heavily every time they mentioned it and it’s also when I started to have panic attacks. Eventually it became too much for me to handle so getting lightheaded and potentially collapsed on the kitchen floor while I was cooking and when my mum found me collapsed she gasped and tried to wake me up by saying my name but I managed to wake up and I started crying to my mum along with me informing her that I don’t want to go back and she hugged me while I was on my knees with sadness and depression being the main suspects of my depression and stress.

Despite the negative things that my dad did to me, he did a lot of good things for me including giving me lifts on where I needed to go for certain places such as competitions and he even helped me pass my driving test. After all he is my driving instructor and he sometimes comes up with funny jokes and even funny experiences that happened during his life or career in general.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog. Please stay tuned for the next post and don’t forget to leave a comment below on my blog post and spread the word out about my blog too. ???